What matters to me the most?
If I had started writing this article a couple of years back ago, I might have had a big list which would have mattered much to me. I am listing a few of them below:
Prioritizing the task
Completing every task with perfection and efficiency
Catching up with yoga time on my favorite mat everyday
Completing the work before hand to avoid the hassles in real time
Living clean .....
This list has completely collapsed after having my two children. Nothing can fit in my schedule now. The only thing my children ever allow me to do is to entertain them with any kind of games of their interest. While bringing them up I am learning so many things from them, which have changed my outlook towards life. The only thing which matters to me now is to enjoy every single moment of my life to the fullest. Every day of life is full of many ordinary moments which I never notice because of my business. The children forced me to slow down and observe the subtle changes that the moments bring.
One day both of my children were fighting and screaming loudly. I wanted to serve them some ice-cream so I called both of them. They immediately came to dining table with bright sparks in their eyes. They were laughing and reciting yum yum in a single tone as if nothing had happened between them a minute ago. I would have not accepted this offer if I had the same fight with someone inspite of how much I love ice-cream?. Now I understand why children are called great meditative. Children forget fights with friends and do things together right in the very next moment if it is of his/her interest. I remember once I was excited about a b'day party which was supposed to be around a swimming pool. While on the way I remembered that I forgot the swimming dress for my children. My husband and I were into an argument about whose mistake it was and we reached the party with an upset mood. There I found that the host had a couple of extra bathing suits. Still I couldn't enjoy the party because I found myself incapable of letting go the thoughts of fight I had with my husband few minutes ago in the car. Sometimes thoughts of past are so intense in my mind that I feel very depressed inspite of having nothing to worry on a particular day. My children are teaching me to enjoy with out thinking too much of past and future.
My two year old daughter loves to jump from the dining table. She usually gets hurt and cries. The very next moment, she forgets and does the same thing all over again. Children don't retain any bad memories of their past. Also, they don't typically consider the future when it comes to potential danger. They just do the things whole heartedly with whatever they find interesting at that moment. Children just live in the present moment. They are all enthusiastic without any hesitation in trying new ideas. Sometimes my instinct tells me to explore something of my interest but the potential fear doesn't allow me to take risk and so many excuses come along, like my age, fear of starting from the scratch, etc. The analysis of my capability takes more energy and effort than trying out new things and ideas. My children are encouraging me to try new thing to just have fun.
I still try to follow my list which I used to follow but with a different attitude now that nothing is so important than to be present at the moment. If I get entangled with bad thoughts about my past/future I try to let go without analyzing them. Though enjoying every single moment is very hard, this is the only way I find to live a healthy life.