My daughter who is just three years old recently started her pre-school. She is an outspoken child. I didn't face any problem in starting her pre-school. Though she had a little problem with English language as I never spoke English with her at home, she was doing great at school, playing with other children, participating in every activity enthusiastically and responding to teachers. She was up to what I had imagined about her. Suddenly after spending a few months, she started crying while I dropped her off at school. I felt it was normal as I was expecting it in the beginning but she didn't cry at all that time. But she started creating a big drama everyday. I found it extremely difficult to dress her up for school. Somehow I managed her dressing part by telling her a lie that we were not going to school, rather going to Chucky Cheeses, Pizza Hut, Dunkin Donuts etc. Soon she realized that I was lying to her and all my lies started to fail. I was very upset. I started to investigate if she had any problem in school which she was unable to communicate to me. I also started to peep into her room soon after dropping her off. I found her to be happy as nothing happened to her a minute ago. After coming from school, I started asking, how her school was. She always replied that it was very. yummy". When I further asked why she created a scene while I dropped her if she enjoyed the school so much. She replied to me, "I cry because I want to cry". It was not making any sense to me. In fact, when I asked the same thing every day, she changed her statement. She started telling me that she did not enjoy school at all. She also told me that she hated school. How could I believe her as I didn't read any such thing on her face while peeping into her room at different times? She had started behaving the same way at other places as well. She refused to take music lesson without me holding her on my lap. She stopped doing gymnastic without me with her in the class. I thought that it could be just the stress and she wanted to stay home or else maybe she realized that she had to be without mama everywhere. I discussed with my husband if we could stop everything for her and she could have a break. He was not convinced with my view. I spoke to her teacher, they were not convinced too. I agreed with them as I could see how much she was enjoying every place she was going. I remember recently that my daughter was crying very hard because I was too sick to take her to her dance class that day.
I planned to experiment with my new strategy. I sat with her and asked her if she wanted to stop school, music, gym etc. She said yes. I made fake phone calls in front of her to school, to gym and the music class. She was all okay and started singing, "I will not go to school, how much is the fun at home···ye ye··· I didn't stop here, when I next meet her school teacher I told her in front of her that it was her last day of school. She came back from school shouting at me for cancelling her admission in to the school. I told her that it was not just the school but everywhere. She again shouted at me that I could not do this to her. She was very confident and angry. I was so happy inside. It was my turn to negotiate now. I asked her, " Okay, tell me what you will do for me so that I should call every place to enroll you again". She replied, "Mama I will not cry while going to school, I will not make any trouble dressing up···" I was all set and wanted to see if she stuck to her words. It was my experience that children always fake making promises but never followed. The next day, she was running out from my car well ahead of me. She had stopped her tantrums for the past one week. It is a big lesson for me to underestimate the children's psychology.